Social Media has an awful lot to answer for. It’s turned everything into a competition.
Have you ever been envious of someone’s holiday pictures? Your neighbour’s new car? A colleague’s clothes and jewellery? Your friend’s new house? Or maybe just the restaurants they are eating in? It’s become an unrealistic snapshot of a fake life, in which we all feel the need to show how brilliant everything is.
If your life isn’t picture perfect, then it can get you down. Even when you take what you might think is your best picture and only get 10 likes, you will end up wondering what went wrong?
It’s not just social media which has done this, but it’s definitely made things much worse. It’s a normal part of every day life now. But it’s not healthy.
Every minute you spend wishing you had someone else’s life is a minute spent wasting yours.
There is any number of motivational quotes and pictures out there. This one sums it up quite well.
When we have our first meetings with prospective clients, we nearly always get asked “Is that what you would expect for someone my age?” There’s no easy answer. Your life is completely different to the next client’s life. Some want to retire early and travel the world. Other’s have travelled all their life and just want somewhere they can relax and be with family. Others still are happy to keep on working. And so with each person’s different story and different prospective future, it’s just different. There is no one right answer
Theodore Roosevelt has been quoted as saying “Comparison is the Thief of Joy.” If you spend all your time comparing yourself to others, you’ll never truly enjoy your own life. You’ll always strive for better. To be better than whoever you compare yourself against. Whether it is a fair comparison or not. Even if you find yourself as the trendsetter of your circle of friends, you will begin to look at others. The ones with the sharper suits, or the shinier jewellery or the flashier car.
I know we all do it. I’ve been guilty of it too. But the key is don’t let jealousy creep in. Don’t fixate on “better.” Try not to one-up your friends and family. Just be happy with what you have. Knowing that you are living – or trying to live – your life the way you want to.
What defines success?
Lots of us buy the top branded watches or cars because we think they make us appear successful. The famous red-soled heel signals she has “made it.” Who defined success as owning expensive, materialistic things? The problem with this is that we go and end up taking on debt we don’t need. We have huge mortgages, expensive car finance deals, three credit cards with five figure balances. It isn’t healthy. And despite how it gives the impression that we are successful, these people are one missed pay cheque away from serious issues.
Something I saw online but can’t remember where to give credit, went along the lines of
“If you can choose between a £20k car and an £80k car, remember that both will get to you work, but the expensive one will keep you there.”
Just this week I was asked why should someone take advice from me, sitting on the other end of a virtual meeting in a North Face fleece? It’s a valid question. Why should our appearance signal how well qualified or successful we are? Does putting on a suit immediately make me a better financial planner? Does a tie around my neck keep the knowledge in my head? We can only build our reputation through our interactions with people, not by the way we look.
Forget about what people think. We should only care what we think. We don’t need all of these expensive things. Often, a lesser priced similar item will do the same job, and we can put our money to better use. To use towards yours and your family’s future.
Invest in Yourself
Invest in yourself for what you want. It doesn’t matter. No matter how much you might think it does.
We hear of the stories about Mark Zuckerberg, who apparently wore the same t-shirt so that he never had to worry about what he wore and could focus on his business and helping his community (of Facebook users). There are many stories out there that claim the t-shirt cost anywhere between a $10 basics Walmart Tshirt, up to a designer $500 dollar t-shirt. But the moral is he didn’t care – he just wore what he was comfortable in.
So if owning the expensive things in life makes you feel better, then there’s an emotional need for that which makes it OK, provided you can afford it. But if you only do it because you think you need to show off or to fit in with your circle, then just stop. Reassess what you want. Do what makes you, and you alone, happy.
Don’t let comparison steal the joy in your life. It’s hopefully going to be a long life, but it needs to be an enjoyable one. Otherwise, what’s the point?